I want to be home
I hate this place more tehn ive hated anything else
Im so. . . not so depressed but just. . . unattached
Its painful being in this place i hate
I wanna be in a place where i see people i like
A place were like me. . . alot
Where i know and are friends with everyone
Why cant i be in that place?
I want to be. . . but i know it wont happen
Im hurting. . .and it sucks. . . alot
Somebody save me. . . take me away
It snowed!
I am so very excited!
How joyous to see the ground covered in snow!
It just brings that happy feeling. . . which is what i need
I knew,even before waking up that it had snowed
The light from outside seemed. . . brighter and i remembered it was to be cold
I opened the curtain and saw. . . it was spectacular!
Im in a so very happy mood from it
I stood ad the glass door and was just repeating "it snowed"
But the sun is now shining
I hope the snow does not leave me:(
But now i must paint. . . paint my room to get it finished damnt!
And im off!!
Things are definetly wonky
Im flirting up a whirlwind storm
I flirt with crushes and just people in general:)
Im a slut hehe
There is a mysterious plan being made
Whether it will come into fruition is unclear
. . . Its a musing moreso. . . a thing talked over
If it happens my expression will be :O:O:O:O:D:D:D:D
If not then itll be a normal :). . . or perhaps :
No the same but oh well i guess right haha
Im not sure if i mentioned but part 1 of my drawing is finished
Im staring at the moon. . . damn you cocky orb in the sky
Britghtly shining in my window. . . i will destroy you!
I feel like dying
Life isnt how i pictured it
I always imagined being with a guy was perfect
Doing what i wanted. . . sticking up for what i wanted
Its all gone in the wind. . . and im left here to cry
Nothings what i wanted. . . nothing i had imagined
It sucks. . . life sucks. . . it all sucks
I cant find anyone. . . why is that?. . . i dont know
Its all too much. . . theres not enough life. . . at least life worth living
But i keep going. . . why?. . .thinking about others again
Ill just stay sad. . .and lonely. . . and not happy with everythnig
Everytime i try and gasp for air i get smothered in this chair
Ill continue my charade of happiness
My mood has changed...iam now down
Im all of a sudden sad...well since about 20 minutes ago
Im thinking about all this school drama
It makes me sick.
Everyone looks out for themselves and i dont get what i want
It sucks
I dont wanna stick to their plan
I wanna stick to my plan
I wanna,for once,have my way...not someone elses
Life has a way of doing that...making me the last pleased.
Why does it keep happening?
My drawing is going swimmingly
So far there is a tree..climbing from fire..all spewing from me:)
I hope to finish the first part soon and get on to the other three
Maybe itll be a masterpiece
Maybe itll be totally ewness
But i hope for a masterpiece
My room is yet to be finished...ive already picked everything thats gonig into it
All black things...to make the room very...exotic:)
Hopefully itll be a masterpiece as well
My mood is thought spewingly plaguing
I have an idea.
Its for a drawing i want to do
I think itll be pretty. . . well amazing(not to be all boastey)
Hopefully ill get started and it wont look like crap
Thats my expectation. . . not crap
My room shall be finished soon. . . tomorrow or saturday
Then i can get all new stuff for it.YAY.
Im a sea nymph on acid climbing a wall. . . thats my mood
Confusion. . . Regret. . . Lonely. . . EMOTION
Im confused as why people who are meant to help seek their own benefits
I regret not making a stand about moving
Im so lonely it hurts
Im so amazingly emotional its hard to stand.
Im now kind of going to school. . . i go in and get work, bring it home then sometime later i bring it back and get more work. This is the agreement the school has reached with me. . . i dont like it. I dont want to go anywhere near that school but now im forced to because people look out for themselves.
The only school i want to go to is Hampton High and i cant because i didnt make a big enough fuss about moving. . . i wish i had. I miss my friends. . . i dont want to make new ones. . . i want to be back.
God im so amazingly sad and lonely. . . it sucks alot. Im so desperate to find someone. . . but no one near me is like me. . . maybe with going to school alittle ill find someone interested in me.
My emotions are all over the board. . . last night i was fine then i got really depressed and then had a headache and really dizzy. I still was both of those things this morning as we went to the school. . . i just masked it easily. . . i should be an actor. . . id be great at it.
I finally got the paint for my room.
How F : A : N : T : A : S : T : I : C
Its called Oriental Express. . . its a really dark red and very sexy lol.
My uncles going to paint my room sometime then my room will be almost FINISHED.
School is very boring and ive met some people in the last little while.
I re-met an old friend from Elem. School and yesterday i met a new friend.
Im not ashamed to say but i flirt with him alot lol. . . its alot of fun.
Im really ansty to get into my room. . . im tired of being cramped in this spare room.
Im in an interesting mood.
Thank You Alicia. . . i like writing like this. . . in lines lol it is very amusing
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!Whoa am i ever fucking pissed!Well my dads being a fucking idiot as usual cuz my sister was being a total bitch and i told her to stop and of course he fucking spazed at me oh ya thats nice you prick!!!!I also find it extremly fun how people ask for my opinion,i give it then they spaz at me cuz its not what they want to hear...well idont fucking care...they can hate me its not gonna bother me at all cuz like fuck its so annoying like jesus just get off my fucking back!!!Well thats should be it for now.
Oh today we got a new like plasma tv..id be watchhing it if my dad wasnt so fucking stupid:).
Also yesterday my Uncle passed away:(
I am so not looking forward to the next two days!!Today im gonig to my nanny's for thanksgiving dinner...great sitting around doing abosolutly nothing and bored to the point i wanna kill myself and of course we have to leave like 3 hours early you know just cuz thats some sort of thnig ith holidays.No ones gonne be there...except old people...great the smell of turkey and mothballs..how pleasant!Id much rather fake being sick...make myself puke just to get out of gonig,thats hoe much i dont wanna go!Tomorrow will be a little better....im going to my grandparents and therell be more people my age but like still i ahte these family things...they suck!And one of the few people i want to be there wont because of like this fight and thats rpetty shitty.All and all id much rather have a vicious disease then go through the next couple days.Oh and i should note that im still single and probably will be until i die...how nice.
I havent written in a while so i thought i might.Im well to be honest pretty meh... i hate being single... i need a boyfriend more then i thought... once youve had someone it sucks not having them.I need someone but it seems that all the mo's are either fairys or closeted... i mean its so hard and everyone says the usual 'itll happen when it happens' well what if it doesnt happen till im like 20... that means single life for 4 years... ya no thanks.
Im totally in love with a song called Dear Mr.President by Pink.It is amazing... i love her voice in it... i love the simple but moving music and i love the lyrics... theyre... great actually.
"How can you say no child is left behind... we're not dumb and we're not blind.They're all sitting in your cells while you pave the road to hell.What kind of father would take his own daughters rights away and what kind of father would hate his own daughter if she were gay"
Very powerful song and i love it.I also have random Will and Grace quotes stuck in my head...
"Paz Vega is spanish for Ashley Judd", "Jasmine...you have such beautiful hair... id like to see it on my dresser by bedtime", "Whoa Karen i love the blonde... its very Mary J Blige meets Barbra Eatmon meets My Little Pony".
Well i guess thats all my rambling for now...i hope you enjoyed Alicia lol.Hopefully ill find a man soon... im very lonely... oh how emo of me lol.
